it's the kelly and rich show starring kelly

It's that time of the week again!  That's right, it's "Fall Down the Real Estate Rabbit Hole" time!  Woo!  The New York Times will soon be slipping behind the good ole paywall, so I'm taking advantage of my free access in the meantime.  It's not that I don't like the NYT enough to pay for it, it's more that if you mention the word "subscription" near my wallet or checkbook they let out the most horrific screams.  And I don't need that noise in my life.

So.  It's time for another conversation with The Rich Person Who Lives in Kelly's Head.  Alright, Rich Person--can I call you Rich?  No?  Too bad.  Alright Rich, here's house number one:

A lovely little historic Craftsman in Birmingham, Ala.  It's a pretty gray color, it has a nice big porch, it was built in 1929 and still retains much of its original built-ins--and I know you like some original built-ins, Rich--all to the tune of $170k.

No?  Really?  What's that?  You don't know anyone in Birmingham or the entire state of Alabama for that matter and it's going to take a lot more than a big red door to entice you?  Oh, well what if I showed you THIS photo:

Is it?  Are we?  YES THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE WE'RE SOLD.

Now, this next one's something of a humdinger.  It's a three-story house built to resemble a grain silo!  What's a grain silo, you ask?  Ugh, come on Rich, your wealthy naiveté is showing.  A grain silo is a large cylindrical building where grain is stored, you ignoramus.  So are you ready for this?  Cylindrical house.  Go:

What do you mean you've seen better?  What other cylindrical houses have you seen?  Okay, there was that one cool German one I showed you once, but this is different, it looks like a grain silo!  Plus it's in the Catskills, it's near a ski resort, it's an easy drive to New York City, and--oh right--360 degree views from the bedroom, all for $163k.

Are we arguing now?  Fine, we're arguing now.  What have you got for me?  Okay, you don't know anyone in the Catskills, if you wanted to move to NYC you'd just move to NYC, and you lived close to a ski resort for a year and never went skiing once.  Is that all?  Right, of course, the difficulty of decorating curved spaces.  Are you done NOW?  Because I have to show you THIS:

Are we sold?  WE'RE SOLD!  I knew I could count on your creepy love of mid-20th Century ranges, Rich!*

*I knew this because I share it.  Because Rich is a person who lives in my head.  This is a post about real estate cleverly framed within a conversation with an imaginary person (a different version of me) who has money (lots of it).

Oh God, I've gone mad, haven't I?